To whoever just pointed me at a profile on JDate

[lethargic_man]

To whoever just pointed me at a profile on JDate, thank you for doing so, but since I do not have full membership, I cannot contact this person. You'd need to point them at me, providing them with my email address to get in contact.

In general, however, I do not contact dog owners, as I am really not a pet person. I suppose I shouldn't be too hasty to rule dog people out, and two years worth of monthly meals at the Wittenbergs' hasn't killed me, but they'd need to be a really special person for me to even consider getting involved with a dog person...

Comments

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

But they need to be a special person for you to get involved with them _anyway_, so pet ownership shouldn't make a difference.

What you need to understand is that the pet was there first, and if you ever raise the question of 'your pet or me' you'll be sitting on your suitcases faster than you could pack them.

Then again, I think that people who are willing to give up their most cherished hobby just to please someone they don't know very well yet do not make the best partners.

I could understand if you backed off at the thought of more than two dogs/horses or more than four cats (cats sleep a lot and do their own thing) because a menagerie, while a perfectly good lifestyle choice, makes life more difficult for a partner.

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

I was thinking more along the lines of: if I could decondition myself to a life-long discomfort at (a) egalitarianism and (b) non-segregated seating in shul, I could probably do so to a dog too, though I wouldn't enjoy the process as it was happening.

[curious-reader.livejournal.com]

I can imagine that you feel uncomfortable. I always see that you try to turn away from Jonathan Wittenberg's dogs.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

What is it that you dislike about dogs? Or what makes you uncomfortable? Bad experiences?

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

My parents are very anti-pet, my mother in particular; they regard them as dirty and are fastidious about getting you to wash your hands after coming into contact with one. Raised in that household, I came to absorb that attitude myself (though not to quite the same degree).

Cats aren't as bad as dogs, as they don't try and thrust themselves upon you so much. (I can tolerate a little rubbing up and down along my ankles, even knowing scent deposition is involved.) In fact, I rather like cats. I just like them at a slight distance.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

My parents are very anti-pet, my mother in particular; they regard them as dirty and are fastidious about getting you to wash your hands after coming into contact with one.

And they raised kids?

Seriously, the feeling pet owners have about their pets are much the same as the ones parents have about babies - if it belongs to your household, what it produces is not icky. Well, not much. And yes, basic hygene is useful, but not exposing your immune system to challenges is just as dangerous - if not more - than dirt. 95% of the time you're dealing with 'normal' mud challenges, no worse than if you walk in the countryside, and a lot of it is up to the owner - wash hands before you eat, do seperate washing up, don't allow your dog to lick your face or sleep in your bed etc.

And while 'dogs will be dogs' from time to time, the degree to which they demand your attention depends. I used to share with a Scottish collie who was a dream to live with - friendly, fun, and undemanding. I've known other dogs who got on my nerves, but that's usually because they're ill-educated.

And there are few things more comfortable than sitting with a purring cat on your lap.

The thing about animal owners is that the good ones tend to be compassionate and used to responsibilities, which aren't the worst traits in a potential partner. You can learn a lot about a person by observing how they treat their animals. And to someone who likes animals - even if they don't own any right now - someone who is rigorously anti-animal will be offputting, because that attitude often goes hand in hand with an overly rigid mindset. (Not saying that this applies to you, but I've met a few people for whom that was all too true.)

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

Seriously, the feeling pet owners have about their pets are much the same as the ones parents have about babies - if it belongs to your household, what it produces is not icky. Well, not much. And yes, basic hygene is useful, but not exposing your immune system to challenges is just as dangerous - if not more - than dirt.

So I've heard, but only anecdotally (and for children, not for adults). I'd like to hear firm scientific evidence for that. (livredor?)

From my point of view, if food goes on the floor, well, people walk on the floor in their outdoor shoes, which they have generally not disinfected since the last time they walked in dog dirt, therefore I regard the floor as potentially contaminated with nasty bacterial spores.

OTOH babies and toddlers throw food on the floor, then pick it up and eat it, all the time, so possibly I'm being too paranoid.

(Though even if it doesn't given them food poisoning, the first point still applies. Though admittedly potentially in homoeopathic quantities...)

I accept that my attitude to pets is the result of conditioning, not reasoning; that's why I said I could potentially be persuaded to go to the effort of deconditioning myself, for someone who really appeared worth it.

(And, FWIW, I went out for a month ten years ago with a horse person, but horses aren't really in your face around the house in the way that dogs are...)

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

From my point of view, if food goes on the floor, well, people walk on the floor in their outdoor shoes, which they have generally not disinfected since the last time they walked in dog dirt, therefore I regard the floor as potentially contaminated with nasty bacterial spores.

Oh, absolutely. Which is one reason why nobody walks into my home with shoes on. (I realise those are double standards, because I have no problem with cats or dogs walking in from outside.)

OTOH babies and toddlers throw food on the floor, then pick it up and eat it, all the time, so possibly I'm being too paranoid.

I think that's the point where ideals and praticalities clash...


I accept that my attitude to pets is the result of conditioning, not reasoning; that's why I said I could potentially be persuaded to go to the effort of deconditioning myself, for someone who really appeared worth it.

*You* are worth it. And no, horses aren't quite as much a part of our daily lives. I'ts also easier to realise for most people that an out-of-control horse is *dangerous*, which means most of them get at least a basic education. The mud and hair issues are pretty much the same, though...

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely. Which is one reason why nobody walks into my home with shoes on.

That's the Continental in you. We British don't do that, by and large.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

Wot, no slippers?

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

Not exactly a majority.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

In fairness, being barefoot in the house goes hand in hand with central heating and wall-to-wall carpet, both of which are only gradually making their way into Britain. Although the last ten years have seen *a lot* of central heating.

The other thing that helps is to have a cellar; it keeps the ground floor warmer.

[curious-reader.livejournal.com]

What about cat owner's? I know you even try to avoid them although they are much cleaner than dogs and don't smell.

[snjstar.livejournal.com]

I would avoid any people who own animals (except fish as long as I did not have to look after them)