The myth of German efficiency / how to get a key cut

[lethargic_man]

In the UK, Germany has a reputation for efficiency, extreme efficiency, but, having gained some experience of this country, I don't know why, because's it's at worst a myth, at best half a century and more out of date.

My disabuse of the notion probably started when I saw the film One Day In September, documenting how gross incompetence by the West Germany police authorities led to the deaths of eleven Israeli atheletes in the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Then, this year, the shiny new airport for Berlin, which was supposed to have opened at the start of June, was put back until March next year because it was not ready. And the lift at the place where I am working has been alternating between working and broken for at least a week and a half (and was also broken when I first visited the property, in January).

But the situation that takes the biscuit was occasioned when I snapped my front door key taking it out of the lock a few days ago. At home, I'd have walked ten minutes and waited five minutes whilst another key was cut. Here, though, if you do that they'll take one look at the presence of a number on it indicating it is the front door key to a block of flats, and refuse point blank. (Possibly this is the case in the UK too; I've never tried to have a key copied as a tenant rather than a houseowner. Can anyone answer this, because aviva_m refuses to believe there are no safeguards on the numbers of a key to a place one might move out of?)

Instead, aviva_m had to 'phone her landlord, which, given that this was just after six on a Friday, she couldn't do until Monday. She then had to go to the administration, give them the key number and fetch a key card of some kind plus their permission in writing, and only then could she go to have the key copied... at which point she was told they would send the key off and she would get it back in two to three weeks.

This is bloody ridiculous. aviva_m and I keep different hours (we're both going out to separate language courses at different times atm); how are we supposed to function on one key between us for two to three weeks? And what on earth requires such a delay in cutting a replacement key? It's not anything special, keywise; it's just a normal cylinder lock key!

German efficiency, my foot! Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

Comments

[hatam_soferet]

they'll take one look at the presence of a number on it indicating it is the front door key to a block of flats, and refuse point blank

Here too. The trick is to take it to somewhere in a really sketchy part of town.

Also some of the keys need a special machine, and if you go to a place that doesn't have the right machine, they can a) send it away blah blah weeks b) send *you* away and you go find somewhere else that does have the machine.

You run into difficulty when none of the places in the sketchy bits of town have the right machine. At which point you can i) forge the permission letter and go find a key-cutter with the right machine ii) bribe the super iii) see if any of your neighbours have a spare you can borrow while you're waiting for the key to come back, see a) above.

[lethargic_man]

(iii) would be a good suggestion if it were not for the fact aviva_m is the only person without a combined front-door/flat-door key, so asking to borrow a key would be giving us entry to the lender's flat!

And as a German, aviva_m is probably constitutionally incapable of (i) and (ii) (see under verboten).

[bluepork]

I've always been surprised by how little security exists around key cutters here. A bit of caution sounds like a good thing, although the 2-3 weeks thing is odd.

As for German efficiency, I think these days, people associate that with higher quality in manufacturing. Volkswagen, BMW and Audi all have reputations for building very high quality reliable cars, when compared to American, French or Italian manufacturers, for example.

[green_knight]

I've had the same experience with a security lock (special blank needed rather than being able to copy an existing key) in Britain - it's *supposed* to be difficult. (My rental contract specifies how many house keys I may have and that I must not try to replace them myself.)

I'd say that's score one for being efficient in making life hard for would-be burglars.

(Overall, I agree with you, though - I'd say Germany has more regulations, but isn't necessarily more efficient.