Last kaddish

[lethargic_man]

I've just recited my last (for the time being) kaddish for my mother (at a service led by my brother). In total, I've recited kaddish at nine hundred and forty-nine services since 5 January (I'm counting mussaf with shacharis here for simplicity^*); in the course of the year I only missed nineteen services, as well as attending three which failed to get a minyan (plus there's the sui generis case of Yom Kippur morning^†). Phew!

* Mussaf is always recited back-to-back with shacharis, and inserted before the end-of-shacharis עָלֵינוּ and psalm of the day; it does not add additional kaddishes to the service. Besides, after the sheloshim I determined to reclaim some of my time by reciting a halachically minimal bare-bones service in the morning from Monday to Friday and then leaving shul after בָּרְכוּ; by chosing not to count mussaf separately it means I don't count the kaddishes after עָלֵינוּ on the times rosh chodesh fell on a non-Sunday weekday as missed services.

† I didn't try and get there for the kaddishes before פְּסוּקֵי דְזִמְרָה because I knew they wouldn't have a minyan; I assumed I'd be able to say kaddish later in the service, like on any other day of the year. I was surprised to discover those were in fact the only mourner's kaddish and kaddish derabbanan in the entire day (aside from those the previous evening).

Comments

[liv]

Those are some impressive numbers! How come you have stopped reciting short of the full year?

I hadn't quite taken in that there is no mourners' Kaddish in the whole of YK day. Not even in Yizkor, which is a bit surprising (but possibly only because I think about Kaddish in a Reform way).

[lethargic_man]

Those are some impressive numbers! How come you have stopped reciting short of the full year?

Mourning is for twelve months; kaddish only for eleven. AIUI it's to do with the idea that reciting kaddish saves souls from Gehinnom; if you were to recite kaddish for the entire twelve months, you'd be admitting the deceased was definitely in Gehinnom, which would be an insult to the righteous. These periods applies even in the case when the year is thirteen months, as this year.

I hadn't quite taken in that there is no mourners' Kaddish in the whole of YK day.

Well, there is; there just wasn't a minyan for it at Grassroots Jews this year.

Not even in Yizkor, which is a bit surprising (but possibly only because I think about Kaddish in a Reform way).

aviva_m's shul recite mourners' kaddish in yizkor; since the non-bereaved have left the room at that point, it's the entire shul reciting kaddish together, which felt weird (outside of a Reform/Liberal context). I suggested doing that at GRJ, when they were asking me for ideas, myself being the resident mourner this year, so to speak; but they declined to do so. Had I realised there were no other kaddishes, I might have pressed harder for it.