When there's no one to recite kaddish
Saturday, December 19th, 2015 09:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lethargic_manAdina WinoDW/LJ asked me last night who I was saying kaddish for at the end of the service. I'd explained at a previous service at the R. Wittenberg's, but since Adina was obviously not there, here's an explanation for a wider audience.
Back in 2002, my father, who, as head of the CST in Newcastle, has contacts with the police, got a 'phone call from them one night: An old man had just died in Middlesbrough. The hospital knew he was Jewish, but did not have contact details for any next-of-kin; as far as they knew, he had no family. So they contacted my father as their liaison in the nearest Jewish community.
My father contacted the Newcastle Chevra Kaddisha, who were able to give him a Jewish burial, and even got together ten (living) men so kaddish could be recited at the burial.
It turned out the deceased had actually once been a famous person—he'd been a comedian on television in the sixties and early seventies, under the name of Ray Martine—but he died in complete obscurity.
I was moved by this story of the Newcastle community doing the right thing for a complete stranger. (That, BTW, is the kind of thing your burial society fees go towards before you die yourself.) Until that time, I rather liked it when there was no one to say kaddish at the end of a service; it meant no one present had recently been bereaved (or had yohrzeit), which seemed like a good thing. It was around that time, though, thatliv told me of the Reform custom of the whole community saying kaddish for those Jews who had died with no one to say kaddish for them, and I resolved that after I had, many years later or so I hoped, first been bereaved (as one who has not been bereaved shouldn't say kaddish), I would take up this custom myself when there was no one in a service to say mourner's kaddish, at (and only at) the kaddish at the end of the service after עָלֵינוּ.
Here's a photo of Ray Martine's gravestone in Newcastle, which I took when I was paying my respects at my mother's grave before the last High Holydays. As this obituary makes clear, a single living relative, his nephew, was eventually found for him (who presumably provided the gravestone), but not until four months after he died, and I don't think this invalidates my point.
Back in 2002, my father, who, as head of the CST in Newcastle, has contacts with the police, got a 'phone call from them one night: An old man had just died in Middlesbrough. The hospital knew he was Jewish, but did not have contact details for any next-of-kin; as far as they knew, he had no family. So they contacted my father as their liaison in the nearest Jewish community.
My father contacted the Newcastle Chevra Kaddisha, who were able to give him a Jewish burial, and even got together ten (living) men so kaddish could be recited at the burial.
It turned out the deceased had actually once been a famous person—he'd been a comedian on television in the sixties and early seventies, under the name of Ray Martine—but he died in complete obscurity.
I was moved by this story of the Newcastle community doing the right thing for a complete stranger. (That, BTW, is the kind of thing your burial society fees go towards before you die yourself.) Until that time, I rather liked it when there was no one to say kaddish at the end of a service; it meant no one present had recently been bereaved (or had yohrzeit), which seemed like a good thing. It was around that time, though, that
liv told me of the Reform custom of the whole community saying kaddish for those Jews who had died with no one to say kaddish for them, and I resolved that after I had, many years later or so I hoped, first been bereaved (as one who has not been bereaved shouldn't say kaddish), I would take up this custom myself when there was no one in a service to say mourner's kaddish, at (and only at) the kaddish at the end of the service after עָלֵינוּ.Here's a photo of Ray Martine's gravestone in Newcastle, which I took when I was paying my respects at my mother's grave before the last High Holydays. As this obituary makes clear, a single living relative, his nephew, was eventually found for him (who presumably provided the gravestone), but not until four months after he died, and I don't think this invalidates my point.
![[gravestone]](https://p2.dreamwidth.org/3d1b9ffa7b60/238292-513482/www.michael-grant.me.uk/images/ljtrivia/ray_martine_gravestone.jpeg)
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Date: 2015-12-20 10:02 pm (UTC)Ray Martine
Date: 2016-02-17 05:48 pm (UTC)Let me explain... back in the 1990's my dad owned a second hand shop at the top of a rough council estate called cowgate. When I was in my teens I did a weeks work experience at his shop and came across many of the local characters who would come in daily just to seemingly have a bit of company, the banter was brilliant. One person who came in just for a chat every afternoon was a old man with white hair and a very posh voice called Ray, who lived around the corner.
I was told that Ray used to be famous and the shop workers would always get him to tell jokes and then point out how bad they were, in good jest, which Ray would take in good humour. This all phased out and Ray's visits within a few years just stopped and no one in the area seemed to know where he went to. He liked a drank at this point in life but always looked smart wearing a cream coloured suit.
I did research and found out about his life and his days on TV and even appearing in a movie but there was never information of what happened to him. Years later I looked him up again and found that he had sadly died alone with no friends or family around him, which was really sad. As a writer his story of fame and then ending up in cowgate always fascinated me... and ive always wanted to learn more about what happened to him after he left the cowgate area. From your post it appears he ended up in Middlesborough, and I wondered if you knew any further detail about his final years?
Thanks for reading.
Steve Farrell - lordstevewilliamfarrell@hotmail.com